article-one:
Springtime Smorgasborg
It's spring cleaning time at Management
Roundtable. Rooting through the desk drawers, we've dislodged and unearthed the following
non-sequitorial sequence of bits for your pre-summer reading enjoyment.
FUN WITH MATH
In recent news it was reported that Professor Ian
Walker of Warwick University in England penned the following formula that proves time is
money: V=W((100-t)/100))/C, where V is the value of an hour, W is a person’s hourly
wage, t is the tax rate and C is the local cost of living. With this equation, Prof.
Walker concluded such things as the cost of brushing your teeth for three minutes ($0.45)
and that ordering take out for dinner ($7.31) is actually cheaper than cooking it yourself
($15.72).
Aside from the obvious implications of applying such logic to
time-based market competition, Prof. Walker’s work reminded me of Albert
Einstein’s fictional unknown older cousin, Dilbert. Dilbert Einstein was a manager at
an automotive company that once realized that meetings create more work at the same time
that no work gets done. His further discussion of this with his cousin led to the
following equation and the younger Einstein’s interest in the study of time travel.
"The meeting effect on productivity formula" --
Tp=T-(Tm+Tt+Ta)
Tp = Productive Time
T = Total Time
Tm = Time spent in meetings
Tt = Estimated time to be consumed by tasks added to your plate during meetings
Ta = Time spent preparing for more meetings
WHO SAID IT?
Read the following excerpt and then decide to whom to
attribute the remarks:
"It became clearer than ever that we had to fundamentally
change the way we do our business...We have to do a better job of communicating with
others, and, as critically important, we have to do a better job managing, analyzing and
sharing information...The reorganization...will significantly bolster resources..enhance
training, shift from a 'reactive to proactive' orientation..."
Who said it?
- Carly Fiorina, in her continued pleas to shareholders for approval of
the HP/Compaq merger
- Bill Gates, at the recent Microsoft judicial hearings
- Yoda, speaking at the Jedi council in Attack of the Clones
- Robert Mueller, Director of the FBI, on post 9/11 efforts
- Kenneth Lay, in a memo to Enron board members dated July 2001
- Osama Bin Laden, in a video broadcast by Al Jazeera last October
Answer: (use cursor to highlight invisible
text): D
GREAT MOMENTS IN PRODUCT
DEVELOPMENT HISTORY - 1997
1997 – After one year on the market, Reebok shoe
company realizes its new line of "Incubus" women’s shoes is named after a
mythological demon who raped slumbering females.
1997 - Walgreen's drugstores distributes discount-coupon books
nationwide in February to honor Black History Month; among the product specials was
skin-bleaching cream directed to the African American market.
1997 - The New York Times reports in December on a Jordanian company
employing veiled Palestinian women stitching together women's exotic underpants for
Victoria's Secret stores and catalogs. Adding to the irony is that the products, which in
1997 will also include brassieres, are sold with a "Made in Israel" label in
order to take advantage of Israel's favorable trade status with the U.S.
We
share reader reactions to TCP articles on our website.
Please send any feedback to gregg@roundtable.com
article-two:
On the Web: Beyond Ms. Cleo
An Illustrated Speculative Timeline of
Future Technology and Social Change
Link: http://kurellian.tripod.com/spint.html
The ISTFTSC website is the work of J.R. Mooneyham, a
"futurist" who has assembled a timeline of factually-based predictions for
events surrounding technological developments and their respective social impact. Don't
misunderstand, this is not some Nostradamus wannabe who learned some html. Whether or not
you agree with Mooneyham's various theses on our potential future, one must respect the
depth with which he treats his predictions, and the robust and well-annotated amount of
research that he references for his conclusions. Mooneyham tends to avoid fantasies,
instead trying to draw logical conclusions from currently available evidence and trends.
As such, while his thoughts are rarely groundbreaking or unique, the rigorous method he's
used to construct them give them a sense of reliability that betrays their fictional
origin. A few of Mooneyham's predictions:
- Disposable personal internet clients
- Increased development of underwater land
- Life extending innovations in bio-engineering
- The emergence of ubiquitous computing
- The decline of malls and shopping centers
Know a website we should review?
Send the url to gregg@roundtable.com
 R&D Metrics Indicator
A new, free, e-newsletter from Management Roundtable. Read the April 2002 Premiere
Issue featuring articles on real-time NPD metrics, survey results on co-development
practices and more. [More Info]
article-three:
Top Ten Things Omitted from Your
Company's ISO Documentation
...from the MRT satellite office in Geneva,
Switzerland
| 10. |
Engineering
drawings only accessible if you can answer three questions by the Troll who lives under
the reference desk |
9. |
For really
sticky issues, make a decision, then call a meeting to justify it |
8. |
Customer
Council members selected by random criteria for diversity, then filtered again for
personal hygiene |
| 7. |
Commission
study on office migratory patterns to determine strategic placement of coffee |
| 6. |
Project status
charts get updated only after schedule adjustment sessions |
| 5. |
Delay
engineering layoff notices for projects in the final phase of completion |
| 4. |
Customer
interview data kept in three separate media (audio, hardcopy and digital), for easy
retrieval just before release to production |
| 3. |
Step 1, ship
product; step 2, sacrifice live chicken to demon god Xul; step 3, collect profit |
| 2. |
Highest
performing workers always assigned to lowest performing managers to increase
"overall" productivity |
...and the No. 1
thing omitted from your company's ISO documentation: |
| 1. |
Be sure to
create the longest distance possible between the people making decisions and those
affected |
Send me your Top Ten
List suggestions - gregg@roundtable.com
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click here.
article-four:
MRT NewsBriefs
- 100% NO-RISK OFFER – METRICS
CONFERENCE EARLY-BIRD DISCOUNT
Just a quick note to remind you that June 30, 2002 is the Early Bird registration deadline
(a savings of $200) for Management Roundtable's 7th annual conference on Metrics for
Portfolio and Resource Management, October 28-30,
2002 in Chicago. Even if you're not sure that you can attend yet, lock in this early bird
rate. You can cancel at anytime without penalty until October 1st, and you can even
transfer your registration to someone else in your organization. This is truly a no-risk
offer. Don't delay - reserve your spot right now!
- YA GOTTA BE AT GATA 2002
A downloadable brochure with complete details is now
available for our upcoming executive summit on "Global Alliance and
Technology Acquisition" in Seattle on September 23-25. This program features
keynote presentations by acclaimed economist Baruch Lev, and Bruce Lehman, former
commissioner of the USPTO and Assistant Secretary of Commerce. [Download Brochure]
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